For many of us it has been true, that we’ve raised to listen to what was expected of us. A recipe for a good life. What we “should” do and how we “should” think and live our lives.
Too many of us, has been so focused on being “good” and doing the “right” thing, that we forgot to listen to our inner silent whisper – of what we ourselves believe is right – at least for us.
We’ve been following the flow of what so many others where doing, in fear of falling behind, look stupid, being “wrong” and not being accepted. As children, going through different steps of developments, it’s both normal to be so free you only follow your own instincts, and later on wanting to be so much like everybody else that you dont really know who you are, yourself.
Growing into adulthood you either begin to grow out of the need to be like everybody else, you strive to be like nobody else or you begin to be curious and exited about questions that helps you find out – who am I really, me.
Who am I when I’m not listening to what everybody else is expecting of me, what society cultures says and what my inner fears are blabbering about…
Who am I, really? When I peal of those layers of conditioning that has been placed on me through life, and pealing off those beliefs and fears that has been holding me down for years and years.
So afraid of doing the wrong thing, we’ve been trapped in our mind. Our beautiful, strong, smart mind – that does it’s job everyday to keep us SAFE. It tries analyze so many different scenarios, look at all that can go wrong and how to be prepared for it. It looks at memories from the past and from that it can find all those layers of fears and present it too you.
Spending lots of time “up here” in the head can lead you to overthinking and making desicions from thoughts, rational thoughts. But what then if everything rational points to that “this might be a good idea”, but something else inside you whispers a silent “no”. Something in your body drops, feels heavy or a bit sad.
Then what to listen to?
The most annoying and yet important thing to remember here is to “drop down” to your heart space and practise to notice how it feels in your body. It’s annoying, cause when you’ve been spending so many years in your head – thinking your way through things – and someone says “just listen to your heart” it can feel like one of the most difficult things in the world.
You expect this big YES or NO answer, your mind is racing. You try to feel something, but either you cant feel a thing – or you feel so much pointing in 100 different directions – so you still dont know what to do.
I can’t say I’ve mastered it yet. I CAN tell you though, that I practise everyday getting more and more back to contact with what my BODY says, not only by strong, smart mind that wants to keep me safe.
Cause how cool could it be, to use and re-unite these two parts of you, that can help you both survive and thrive?
What I do to practise this skill of listening to my heart, my body and my soul everyday is to ask my body when I take small decisions during my day. I try to notice if it says YES or NO. And this I would call my INTUITION, that I believe is guided by my HEART and GUT.
I see Intuition, heart and gut as one unit, with their energy flowing from gut to my head – passing and check-in with my heart in the middle. I see it as my GUT feels, my HEART knows and the energy field in the top of my head “the crown” is connected to something higher. With higher I mean, the Universe, other people and what else is out there.
In the buttom of our energy chakra system is by our pelvis, it’s the energy we sit on, the center of us. This part of us is our feeling of stability and security. It so much needs to feel safe. The top guard in our head is helping it out, by making sure nothing bad happens to us and it is so busy during the day, everyday and the night – even in our sleep to analyze and prepare, to keep us safe. Thank you brain. You’ve saved us for so much through life.
When it comes to taking big life decisions — I believe it is important to use both of us, so make a decision that is both keeping us ALIVE and THRIVE.
STEP 1 :: Notice how a YES feels like in your body.
How does your body react to something that feels like a YES? Notice your body language. Do you feel light or heavy? Looking up or looking down? Feeling uplifted or dragged down? Light or dark? Exiting or dreading?
STEP 2 :: Notice how a NO feels like in your body.
Now, do the same as before. Instead think of something that feels like a no for you. Something that is not good for you, that makes you sad or dreadful. How is your body reacting to it? Try to see if you can notice the energy in your body – do you feel full in a good way, too filled up or did your energy just dropped down to your feet, making you feel weak?
STEP 3 :: Make your decision, with confidence.
Take the decision with a belief in yourself, to show your body you trust it and you are willing to listen and have the intention to practise LISTENING more and more.
STEP 4 :: Test out the liability of what you felt in the body.
How did it turn out? So when you did take the decision, what happened next? What did it eventually lead to? Do you think your body was right about that one?
Or did you feel something and then analyzing took over and changed the decision to an analyzed version of what “felt right”. You know what I mean?
STEP 5 :: Being open to signs – was it the right thing for you to do?
It can be those small things at to what supermarket to shop your groceries in today. When I listen to my intuition I get my favorite hummus, if I don’t then I usually pick the supermarket who has run out of the good hummus. So I have to go back to my original “YES” supermarket of the day to find it.
I still smile a lot when it happens cause it confirms me that what my GUT told me was actually right.
Event hough it can be pretty feet crumbling sometimes to watch yourself taking those conscious decisions – that turns out to be wrong, cause your brain had some analyzing to do with it and can’t see what should be wrong with that supermarket that day, but a silent little notion in the body just says “nope” and of course, mostly – it’s right.
Just kinda like when mommy is always right – kind of feeling, you know that one? – Can be feeling a bit “nnjjjaaaahhhgggg!!!!”
Haha – I at least feel that when that happens with my mom, and I picture her before my minds eye saying “what did I tell you”. So annoying.
I believe that if we practise listening to our body – gut, heart, intuition – in these small decisions more, we strengthen our belief in ourselves and that what we’re feeling is right. That we tend to rely more on ourselves and make ourselves ready for the bigger decisions in life. And that said from someone who has almost always doubted herself. Yes, for as long as I can remember.
So for me, doing this practise every day, feels empowering for me and with this I show myself “Yes! Ea, my love – I do trust you”. Instead of believing all the right answers was found around me, that other people must have the right answers for me – staying in helplessness – I now move more and more into self-reliability – where I trust my own inner guidance and answers more and more, cause of this practise and skill development, I can use for the rest of my life.
I believe you can do that too.
Watch the movie “Power of the heart” for powerful personal stories about gut feelings and following your heart – and how it saved peoples lives.
Book: “Trusting yourself” by M.J. Ryan
Youtube video: “4 Ways to Strengthen Your Intuition (Even If You Don’t Think You Have It)” by Marie Forleo